Dear Rhonda,

I am a very fifty-something person who does all I can to remain youthful. And when I say, “all I can”, by that I mean absolutely everything at my disposal. I’ve become somewhat conflicted about this as many of my friends accuse me of being out of touch with reality and verging on needing an intervention. On the other hand, I still have the body of a 30 something year old and the skin of a teen. What’s your take on this?

Sincerely,
Bo Tocks

Dear Bo,

Hats off to you for so desperately remaining youthful not only in appearance, but in spirit as well. My first reaction is to tell your friends to buzz off. They are probably just jealous because they look old and crusty or that their “enhancements” are not as effective as yours (or it could be that you have nipped and tucked yourself into looking like a 20-year old Shar-pei in a 100 MPH wind tunnel and you frighten them), but then I began to wonder why you wrote into me in the first place.

If you really are the kind of person who gets yourself pricked, prodded and tucked as you say you do, you probably don’t really needs advice from me about what to tell your friends (or anyone else for that matter). Then it dawned on me. This isn’t about your decaying aged body and the conflict from your friends about your efforts to restore your broken down barn of a body at all. There is only one way that a fifty-something can have the “skin of a teen” or “the body of a 30 something”…HOOKERS.

Bo, you have to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past Rhonda, but good for you for trying (and almost getting me). I now completely agree with your friends. Your have issues. Big ones! Whilst sleeping with wildly inappropriate people is exhilarating (I know first hand), it poses a threat to both your emotional and physical well being (I note physical as well because at your age I assume that Viagra is an integral part of each encounter).

My “take on this” is that you need to listen to your friends and get a grip on reality. You (along with everyone else in this world) are going to whither and decay like a piece of raw hamburger meat sitting out in the sun in the middle of July. Now that is the truth to deal with. So until you can look at yourself in the mirror, smile and say “I love you”, you should steer clear of whatever it is that you are doing make yourself “feel young” because it won’t work. Beauty and confidence must come from within and only you can get yourself back on track. Trust me Bo, hookers are much more fun when you know who you are rather than looking to them to help find yourself.

Best,
Rhonda

 

 

Posted: Monday, April 20th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Filed under: Ask Rhonda, Everything Else