Ask Rhonda……. Anything!
Dear Rhonda,
How do I encourage my co-worker to make better dating choices? She meets total losers in bars and they make her life miserable. When a fellow co-worker wanted to ask her out, she wasn’t interested. He is a decent person with steady employment. I am always a bit speechless when she goes on and on about the total losers making her life miserable.
Sincerely,
What is a Friend to Do
Dear Ms. Do,
What would a girl do without a friend like you? You’re there to listen and you’re there for advice. But you know what you’re mostly there for… to enable her. That’s right!
Now, I hate to be judgmental (not really), but I have met tons of wet mops like her and they all drive me batty. But hear me out on this. As long as you keep giving her attention she will continue dating these losers. It is a viscous cycle and these bad relationships are her identity. Of course she doesn’t want to date a decent guy! He would be nice to her and she would have nothing to talk about.
Your only recourse is to stop listening. Your listening and enabling is the oxygen that fuels her fire. Cut it off. Just tell her that you are her friend, but you are tired of listening to the same old story time and time again when she really has no desire to change. You may have to do it as an intervention with a few other friends to make it meaningful. If you don’t she will trash you and move on to someone else. Kinda like a virus. Anyway, good luck with this losing situation.
Best,
Rhonda
p.s. You must not be in sales because your description of the fellow co-worker being “a decent person with steady employment” was about as enticing as a day-old tuna fish sandwich laying out on a sun-drenched picnic table in the middle of August. I would hate for you to write my match.com ad.
Beth Collier — September 9, 2009 @ 2:46 pm
“decent person with steady employment” as compared to the “unemployed crack-heads” my co-worker tends to date. Your advice is really helpful. No, I’m not in sale– I do government work which apparently leads to possible mental health issues after 20+ years.
Beth Collier — September 9, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
Not that my name is posted, I’ll have to make sure my co-worker never finds this website!
Beth Collier — September 9, 2009 @ 3:29 pm
I meant to type “Now that my name is posted….” (followed by amusing laughter from readers)
(yes, I only took typing for a whole year in high school!)