Mom’s Corner - Olympic Follies 1984
In 1983 Herb & I were thrilled to see Robert’s long uphill climb to become a Dressage Star come to fruition. Not only was he going to ride Romantico in the 1984 Olympics, but he would become the Captain of the team. That was a great honor, and one he would receive 6 times. I had a jewelry corner in a friend’s boutique. Everyone was congratulating me and asking how it felt to have a son in the Olympics. I also enjoyed having a jewelry table at the Horse shows. Herb would help me sell. We made many life long friends. Everyone was excited and impressed, as few knew anyone who had ever gone to an Olympics event. My first thought was,” What should I wear?” Now that I look back at the album that I had put together, I see that I wore lovely pants and skirts. It was long before ladies wore jeans. Soon we were caught up in preparation for the trip. There were airline tickets, motel reservations for Margo, Tom, and their two little girls, Dale, and for us. Herb rented a huge van. No SUVs were around then. The time went fast, and at last we were on our way. There was one very important person we had been trying to convince to come with us. She was our own Aunt Tillie. Herb’s mom had died at 54 from cancer, and Tillie, being her sister, stepped right in to mother us, a job she did to perfection. Whenever we went out of town for a few days, Aunt Tillie was right there to take care of the kids. My only regret was that she always had their hair cut before we returned. She couldn’t see trying to unsnarl Margo’s hair, or make Dale cry when she combed hers. Al & Robert even lost their baby curls. I had to hold myself back from crying over that. Every Friday Aunt Tillie came over and cooked up a storm. She would say to the children, “What would you like for dinner, dear?” “Oh, Al, you want chicken. Fine”. “And you, Margo?” “Oh, you want spaghetti?. Fine, dear”. “And you Dale? Oh, you want lamb chops. Fine dear.”And you, Robert? Oh, you want what your brother is having. Fine, dear”. When Robert was about 8 Herb opened up a new Do-Ray Lamp Company factory in Toronto. It was a big shock to the kids when I said, “no more Aunt Tillie. From now on it’s Hamburger Surprise for all.” They survived. I say all this to tell you that Aunt Tillie was very special to all of us. The only problem is she had never flown. She was scared to death of flying. On the day we left, her children found her in the basement doing laundry with curlers in her hair. They had packed a bag for her. They handed her her ticket and whisked her off to catch her flight. We were all thrilled to go to the airport to pick her up. She was still protesting that she needed a touch up. We overcame all that with many hugs and kisses. The first thing she did upon arriving at the hotel was to hunt out a grocery store. Off she went to find goodies for all her children, “they shouldn’t starve to death.” It was very hot in Los Angeles, with sweltering, oppressive heat. The Olympics opening ceremony was spectacular. Nothing like that had ever been seen in America before. We came into the stadium to see hundreds of balloons lying on the field. Little did we suspect that under each balloon was a person getting ready to let them loose to fly away into the air. There was a Wild West pageant. Then 40 pianos came out of the wall with men dressed in formal whites playing patriotic songs. The Olympians were piped in, and we were mesmerized by the young people parading before us who would compete over the next few weeks. Many would win medals. Many would have their hearts broken, but all would go home with the knowledge that for once in their young lives they had had the chance at immortality. Off we went for the first team day. Whoops! Margo left her tickets on the bed. Back she and Herb went. In the picture you see the huge crowd of thousands of people in the stands. We were standing nearby, as Robert entered on Romantico. The trainer gave Romantico a hard crack on the back of his legs as he entered. I remember thinking, “that is one horse who will lift up his legs for sure.” And it came to pass he remembered, and wouldn’t stop Piaffing, ending Robert’s chances.What was wonderful about that first Olympics was that the Olympic committee had provided, free of charge, for all the American parents, to be seated together. Robert was the first American rider to enter. Picture, if you can, 22,472 people stamping their feet, whooping, and applauding this entrance. As you know Dressage is done to “no noise”, period. I always said to Robert,”You should train your horse to hear noise and not freak out.” My heart almost burst with pride when he rode down the center line, looking like a young god. His outcome wasn’t perfect, but we enjoyed every minute of our time there. We had luncheons with our Canadian friends, our California friends and family, and new friends who came to tell us how much they admired Robert.Half Halt was there too. Robert’s friend David took great care of him. Robert said he had learned a great deal from that first Olympics. I still have the red shirt made for us by his Texas friends. I am thinking of framing it and letting Robert use it at a silent auction to raise money for his Equestrian Aid Foundation.What do you think, friends? Roberts Mom
Jessica — October 21, 2009 @ 9:38 pm
Great Story Robert’s Mom! I hope you are having a good week! Love Jessica
Jean Dover — October 22, 2009 @ 5:23 pm
Dear Jessica,
Thanks for wishing me a good week. You know Jessica, this is not my first round of chemotherapy, but it is the least debilitating. I have never before been asked to come a week after having chemotherapy to have a toxicology test. Nor has my Doctor listened to my lungs, except maybe every 6 months. Changing Doctors has been an eye opening experience.
I hope your Mom is getting stronger, and won’t need a blood transfusion.
Number 2 daughter will be here to go with me November 5th for the second round.
I am enjoying reading the feedback Robert is getting from his new Canadian friends. We lived in Canada when he was a young boy. Our house sat on a hill overlooking Winfield Farms where Native Dancer has a permanent stall. Stuffed,you know! We used to go to the Dominion grocery store,and the owners wife would come out with her chauffeur and a few groceries and take off in her gold Cadillac car. You know I am remembering these things so it may have been a gold Bentley. She looked so ordinary. The Queen used to come and stay with the family. Her’s not mine!
Now that is all gone, and high rises cover the grounds. I know time changes things, but that was such a treat. We would go out to watch the horses being trained.
Herb is now taking things apart. I realize it is all part of Alzheimer’s, but what a chore it is getting them back to working condition when I am not mechanical.
Today he needed to put a new bulb into his standing lamp. He removed the knob for turning it om & one from his wall lamp, disabling that one too. Luckily our gardener was here and was kind enough to put both back together.
I hope you are taking care of yourself, and getting a lot of the end of summer riding in. Do you have a place you can ride indoors?
Love, Roberts Mom
I am responsible for all material in this e-mail, and any misspelled words.
Jessica — October 27, 2009 @ 9:42 am
It’s funny you mention Native Dancer! I have a friend here at work who is going out to California for the Breeder’s Cup to see her friends horse race. Her name is She Be Wild - Native Dancer and Seattle Slew are in her bloodlines! How cool is that? Her sire is Offlee Wild and he stands at Darley Farms in Kentucky!
Mom is doing OK - last chemo last week and then we start Alimta in 3 weeks. Her doctor does not anticipate she will need another transfusion, which is fantastic news. Unfortunately we have a dear friend who just received a lung cancer diagnosis this week. We are praying for them - He is thinking about going to my mom’s doctor too.
It sounds like things are going very well for Robert in Canada - Sounds very exciting!
We do have an indoor arena at the barn I ride at during the winter - It’s not heated, so it can get very chilly, but at least we can still ride!
Let me know how you are feeling! Love Jessica
Jean Dover — October 27, 2009 @ 7:54 pm
Dearest Jessica,
It seems everyone you speak to knows, or is related to someone who has lung cancer. I am praying for another miracle for your Mom & Me. Altima & Avastin in combination are the drugs I am getting every three weeks. The side effects have been minimal. Maybe because I changed Doctors & this one knows how to judge how much I can handle!. The last time I had Alimta for 12 months I had many side effects. However it did put me into remission for 11 months. Enough about illness.
Yesterday I took Herb shopping for a new Bomber Jacket. He had a beauty, but it went astray last winter, never to be seen again. We found a really nice jacket called “Waterproof”. Yes, that is the brand name. It is a yummy cocoa brown washable suede.I know Herb will enjoy wearing it this winter during our two cool weeks. Maybe we will have more. The weatherman says it will be a cool winter. Time will tell.
It is nice you have an indoor ring in which to ride. Do you have mirrors so you can check yourself out? I remember that it gets very windy and cold in Chicago, and feels colder in the open areas. Enjoy while you may.
Tomorrow I am taking an afternoon off to go to lunch with a lovely ladyfriend. Then we will see if we can help out the department stores as they sure are crying for business. I want to find a pretty jacket for Dale. She arrives next week for a 4 day visit. I know she will not want to waste time shopping. It is not her thing!
Robert has high hopes for the Canadians. They are lovely people. Our 4 years living in Willowdale gave us friends I still speak to weekly. We used to visit, but age has slowed us all down. The men have all died. Herb is the last leaf. I see it is time to stop as this e-mail is getting maudlin!
Love you, Jessica,
Roberts Mom
Bernie Hewitt — October 28, 2009 @ 4:56 am
Dear Jean,
Loved your Olympic story! I hope Herb enjoys wearing his new jacket.
At the weekend my mother told me that her best friend of many years has cancer. She is very ill indeed. I’m going to relate your stories to Mum to keep her spirits up, as she is doing a sterling job of that and organising things for her friend.
One more to add to the prayer list..
Much love,
Bernie
Marci Brown — October 28, 2009 @ 9:58 am
Hi Roberts Mom,
I hope you are feeling strong, emotionally and physically. Prayers are always sent from Canada for you ! The weather here is really cooling down and getting rainy, between the horses, kids and dogs, we manage to stir up alot of mud and muck this time of year ! I am sure you are thankful for your mild seasons down there !
We are gearing up for the Royal Winter Fair in a few weeks. I will be trailering up with two horses, one belonging to my staff, who will defend his championship title, and one belonging to a young teen student ! She is already SO excited ! Do you have any memories of the Royal Winter Fair that you can share with us Canadians ? We are very proud of the Fair, and I hope with Roberts help we can bring some pizzaz back to the dressage evening !
Wish you could come with Robert to visit the Fair ! Lets plan for next year !
Stay well,
Marci
Jean Dover — October 29, 2009 @ 7:09 pm
Dear Berni,
How nice to hear from you. I thought you were much to busy to e-mail me due to being a working lawyer.
I am sorry however to hear about your Mom’s friend having cancer. Just the word causes fear in the innards.
All I can tell you is that there is nothing like friends to keep you going, when the going gets tough.
Today I felt sooooo sorry for myself. My hair has fallen out needlessly, because I was given a drug my little frame could not tolerate. I have changed Doctors,and changed to chemotherapy drugs,that don’t cause that side effect. So why was I so depressed? I guess because I had to wear my wig for the first time in 6 years. It is hard to believe it still looks like new. It didn’t oxidize. Isn’t that cause to celebrate. That is what my best friends make me do,& that is what I am sure your Mom’s friend will do for her. They say, think about it. Your wig could have fallen apart and it would have cost you big bucks to get a new one. Let’s celebrate with lunch tomorrow, your treat! That of course makes me laugh out loud.
It has been much to warm for Herb to wear his new jacket. He probably doesn’t even remember he has one. The winter is supposed to be cool due to the El Nino. Forgive m,e I have no idea if I spelled that right. It kept us from having a Hurricane, but increases the chance of cold weather.
What kind of cancer does your Mom’s friend have. Berni. I have survived three different kinds of cancer in my life time, and I am going to survive this one too.
Please don’t be strange. I love hearing form you.
Roberts Mom
.
Jean Dover — October 29, 2009 @ 7:57 pm
Dear Marci,
I remember when we lived on Dempsey Crescent in Willowdale. I would dress the children for the cold weather, in hats over their ears, mittens, and scarfs. Sketter, our wonderful wirehair terrier would run down the hill with them, and pull off the mittens, or hat and run away with them. I worried they would get frost bitten, but they loved it. I remember our older daughter Margo coming home from school with her hat off,and her coat open,acting like BIG Stuff. As soon as she spied me checking, she quick buttoned up and put on her hat and gloves. Robert was very young. Only 8 or 9. I don’t remember him removing his outerwear. What I do remember about him at that age is that he saw every bug in our house, or in others homes. He would whisper in my ear,”Mom look up there near the ceiling. I see a spider web with the spider in the middle”. Or at a fancy restaurant. “Look Mom there is an inch worm in my salad. Can I keep it?”. That didn’t go over to well with the waiter, but the other patrons loved it.
I don’t think I was ever at a Royal. It is probable that Mrs.Gross who took Robert riding would have taken him with her children. At that time I was still very into acting I had no idea Dressage would become so important in Robert’s life. How exciting that it did. His career has taken us all over the world, and into countries we would never have dreamed of going. Herb and I have 4 wonderful children. Each one has brought joy, and adventure into our lives. Just wait until you see how yours do the same. Marci,trust me, it is well worth cleaning up the mud & muck.
Love,
Roberts mom
Bernie Hewitt — October 30, 2009 @ 11:47 am
Dear Jean,
Admit it has been busy, but I am getting to grips with organising my time, so I’ll try to stay in touch more. I decided to study for a doctorate, and I got funding to do that, which is great. I’m also going to be taking some classes at the university. It will be fun to work with bright young people. I decided the commute to London (which being a practitioner would entail) every day was not for me! I’m a writing and research geek I guess.
Yet again your wisdom and sense of fun conveys a wonderful message of how to cope with the bad times. I laughed at the wig story but I’ll bet you look beautiful even if the hair’s not quite as you want it.
My mother’s friend has several tumours. The only sign was that she lost a lot of weight then collapsed and was admitted to hospital as an emergency. I think the doctors are still figuring it all out.
On the bright side, she is a strong person and she has a great friend and great sons. I’ll keep you posted.
You take care and keep beating it!
Much love,
Bernie x
Jean Dover — November 2, 2009 @ 8:40 pm
Dearest Bernie,
You need to clone yourself so you can divide your work load up. When do you sleep?
I always told myself, don’t write about cancer. No one likes to talk about sickness, except those who are sick. It is enough to live it. Today I went to Bascom Palmer. It is the #1 eye hospital in the WORLD. They do a series of 4 tests with different machines, and then you see your Doctor. It was thrilling to hear him say the cancer in my eyes had receded, and they were much better. Truly, I knew that before I went in as I was no longer seeing white circles going around in my left eye.
I don’t have to return until February 1st.
The weather is beautiful in Florida now. It is our turn to gloat as much of the rest of the world freezes.
My eyes are still so dilated I am having trouble seeing what I type.
My prayers include your Mom and her friend. May the Good Lord be kind to both.
Love,
Roberts Mom
Bernie Hewitt — November 3, 2009 @ 6:25 pm
Dear Jean,
I am amazed at what you do. I wouldn’t take the liberty of advising you to rest your eyes, you know what’s best for you. (But rest your eyes)
I had no idea when I started talking to you that the C word would ever be a feature of your discussions. I hate to tell you this in one way, but am glad in another that it did becuase you’ve raised so much comfort and hope to us in this time.
My mother’s friend is now out of the hospital (albeit for a time). There’s a limit to what I want to say on the web (I know Robert’s gonna be after me for this, but I’m a Brit, he knows) but you know, there is so much positivity to be shared in these circumstances. Especially when it’s new, scary. You just helped dispel the ‘innards’ stuff.
You’re amazing! Rest your eyes!
Lots love
Bernie
Jean Dover — November 3, 2009 @ 9:09 pm
Dearest Berni,
I was amazed that my eyes were still dilated today. There were many errands to run so I can sit back and enjoy Dale’s visit.
Herb just came into the room and asked me to show him a picture of Dale. I guess he is worried he won’t recognize her. I took out a group shot of the family. He pointed to Stacy our granddaughter and said, “Is this her?” I said, “No she is the next one over.” Then his said, “Now I recognize Dale”. To me his is the worst illness. It is dying by the inch. I am 90% good with him though I must admit I still forget and am surprised when he doesn’t know something, or how to do something. You can read a dozen books about Alzheimer’s but when it is someone you love and take care of sometimes thing can get overwhelming. I pray for patients, and calmness, and kindness, all the virtues needed to deal with Herb.
The best advise I can give your Mom’s friend is to have more then two opinions on how to successfully proceed with her recovery. Read Lance Armstrong’s book. It is not about riding but how he conquered testicular cancer that had spread to his lungs and brain. He gave me the courage to change Doctors. I never wanted to hurt their feelings. He, and Robert made me see it is my life I am trying to save. Their egos will heal in a few minutes.
It had been a long day and Berni I am longing to rest my eyes.
Love,
Roberts Mom