Dear Rhonda,

Why is it that your column does not come out on a regular schedule?

Lonely Reader,

Dear Lonely Reader;

Thank you very much for the question and the assumed compliment. Truth is, and as unbelievable as it sounds, I have become a Republican and my duties to the party have kept me from my loyal and needy readers.

Earlier this year I got a call from Sarah informing me that she would be stepping down as governor and asking me to go on tour with her. I was stunned that she was interested in my political views and elated to know that Rhonda would finally get a national platform, but it turns out she only wanted me as an opening act at her rallies. Apparently, there is no one like good ole Rhonda to whip a bunch of rednecks into a blaze of hate for the news cameras. Who knew it was all so staged? Even in middle age (the lower side of it), Rhonda keeps learning the ways of the world.

And why did I do it you ask? That’s right…money. There’s nothing more American than making a buck! I am not sure if my readers are aware, but my salary at doversworld.com didn’t even cover the monthly electric bill to run the laptop that I am writing this on now. With my new Republican money, I can afford to live the lifestyle for which I am about to become accustomed.

And the Palin’s and I have become pretty close. She’s not all bad. She’s a good mom and even lets me babysit for little Tripp (I think that’s his name). Whatever his little name is, he sure loves to play with Rhonda’s big tacky earrings. And thanks to Sarah, Rhonda is a card-carrying member of the NRA and I am packing “heat” in my fake Gucci bag (hey, just because I have money now doesn’t mean I am gonna pay $2500 for a bag that I can get on Canal Street for $85). I’m not one of those girls who forgets her roots…

Some of my more savvy readers may have caught my past tense in the above paragraph regarding my salary atdoversworld.com. I said it “was”. For my slower readers, that means it no longer “is”. Yes, this is my final column. Rhonda has a new road ahead of her and dare I say a new “cougar” relationship that takes a front seat in my life. I cannot divulge any names, but it would not be untrue to say that he may or may not be featured in Playgirl this month and may or may not be related to Sarah through a blood grandchild. You do the math…

I am eternally grateful to doversworld.com for slave-laboring me into the Republican Party and wish everyone a very happy and safe holiday season.

Best,

Rhonda

p.s. Although this is a goodbye, don’t be surprised if Rhonda comes back for guest columns now and again. Until then, I am off to Columbus to perform I AM WHO I AM by Gloria Gaynor to open another Palin speech. Apparently, NBC cameras are gonna be there, so the Palin camp asked me to perform in a beaded tube top.  God I love my job…

If you, my readers, are as upset as I am by the departure of Rhonda from our website, PLEASE WRITE IN to tell her that our lives just cannot go on without her sage advice and wisdom! Maybe she will change her mind

So here’s the thing; everyone knows I am a huge fan of “So You Think You Can Dance”, and I absolutely love the dancers and choreographers on the show. But what the *#%! happened this season?

I was sure from the beginning it was going to be bigger and better than ever, with amazing auditions and the usual exciting week in Vegas. And all looked great even as the top 20 hit the stage back in Hollywood with what I thought was the first of many “3rd” judges, Adam Shankman, sitting on the panel. But then it happened - Adam appeared the next week and the next week and the next, and we finally realized he was there to stay and the refreshing viewpoints of the many fabulous experts we had grown to love were now delegated to only having the roles of creating dance routines for the contestants.

I thought I could live with that until I kept waiting and Waiting and WAITING for my favorite choreographer, Mia Michaels, to give one of her enormously inspirational dance routines to one of the lucky couples. Every kid on that show remarks that nobody else can make them grow as Mia. And then the next news broke - she had quit the show - and I for one would like to know exactly why! I pray she is healthy and there is nothing impeding her amazing life and career.

Week after week of the same three judges, without Mia, Debbie Allen and so many of the others we had known to love to hear from, and it was only truly the dancers and a few of the choreographers like Sonya that made me keep tuning in.

The final blow for me was the finale which, in former seasons, was held at the Kodak theater to sold out crowds. Not this time! Same venue and same three judges on the competition night and all done in one hour which didn’t even allow the dancers to do solo performances in their own style as they rushed through 3 dances and didn’t even use some of our favorite choreographers. That being said, they did dance great, and I was excited and hopeful that the “Results Show” would be better.

And it was, for the most part. The guest performances were all terrific, but I would have rather seen them the night before and all again at the Kodak Theater, especially for such big stars. In the end, they called the names out exactly as I predicted, though I had hoped for Jacob to win on merit. Russell had been a huge inspiration though so I was almost as happy for him. Mostly, I was just let down by the lack of production value and seemingly “bottom line” priority which SYTYCD gave me the feeling came at the head of the list this season.

Will I watch next season? Absolutely! But I hope that enough fans write in and tell them, like me, to bring back the old format and Mia along with it!

Cheers!

RD

So here’s the thing - I admit to being hooked on American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance! I am so happy that many of the Idols have been given chances they would never have received had it not been for the show. And, thanks mostly to Ellen, despite his train wreck performance on the American Music Awards, Adam Lambert’s star is as bright as ever. Mark my words (which I said from his very first audition) - he will be HUGE!
I must also say that I will miss Paula and am not quite sure how adding Ellen (though I love her) to the mix is going to truly help pick the brightest talent on the show. But I still can’t wait for it to start again in January!

And now to my other favourite show, SYTYCD. I have been amazed by the top 20 dancers and wish the show didn’t race so quickly to the finale this year, with the top 6 instead of the top 4 as in previous years. Worse than that for me was the departure of my absolute favourite choreographer, Mia Michaels. I have really missed her genius as have undoubtedly millions of viewers, all of whom, like myself, wish we knew what caused her to quit the show. I actually am not at all worried for her career and just want to know that she has her good health and is happy.

Lastly, I really am not sure how Molly was thrown off tonight as she was so fantastic last night and through the recent weeks. I would have kept her and lost Ashley, myself. But then, it does make for good TV to have the first husband and wife couple on the show finale, I guess. What they should have reminded everyone is that all of the top ten will go on tour so it is definitely not the end for Molly or Legacy or the others from the group. They are truly supernatural and such an inspiration, not only to young dancers, but to people who aspire to greatness in all endeavors in arts, sports and, yes, life.

Cheers!

RD

  Mom’s Brain Teaser! 

1)Which nine-time Emmy -winning actress has played Nancy Pelosi, Suzanne Somers, Judi Dench…and Andy Rooney?

2)What older western singers foundation fights for benifits for pioneer R & B artists?

3)What Emmy-winning TV star who played in a political drams  used to fib she was a National Geographic photographer?

4) What Golf legend worked in cotton fields starting at age 5?

5) What Former Family tot spent two years in Portugal as a Mormon missionary?)

6) What drug-plagued One Day At A Time star’s memoir is ” High On Arrival”?                                                                       

Good luck!  If this e-mailing  quiz doesn’t land me in Jail I will post the winner a week after it appears.                                                   

Robert’s Mom

     Around 18 years ago, Ron Davis twirled into my life - literally! When 6 1/2 feet of big hair and sequins come flying at you like an enormous, whirling dervish, you basically freeze and, in my case, cower open mouthed in awe! Ron,( a.k.a.,  Ms. Weis Wiener Boucher Stendahl Klein  etc, etc, and so on….  think Liz Taylor) was as much a perfectionist in drag as he had been as an equestrian, extremely detail oriented down to the tiniest lip movement and flirty wink.  I  once watched him do Rosanne Rosanna Danna’s 15 minute  high school commencement speech without missing a lick!  And that was it -I knew we’d be friends for life!
If I’m honest, which I already told you I promise to always be on this site, I’d have to say that, before Ron, I definitely thought that my universe revolved around me. I was sure that this whole thing was my movie with everybody else  was playing either a supporting role or most probably having just a walk-on part.
Then came Ron and my entire theory was totally out the window!  First of all, he’s scary smart; one of those gays that is always five hysterical thoughts ahead of everyone else in the conversation, making him the life of every party, in or out of a dress.  Beside his amazing wit, Ron has always possessed all the qualities discussed in “The Tipping Point”.  He’s the most innovativelyconnected, mavenly salesman I’ve ever met, making him both fabulous and supremely dangerous in any given moment. Only Ron has made me sit and wonder if ,  just maybe, I didn’t really have any control over my destiny. Maybe this is all just Ron’s movie and I’m the one with the walk-on role!
 Ron has gone on to be an amazing director of some very successful documentaries.  That being said, why wouldn’t I have the very best “help” for my movie?  He’s the very best my imagination could come up with for a best friend!

And when I say “best Friend”, I truly mean it.  Ron, though a highly successful senior vice-president of a major book publishing company in New York, has never failed to be there for Robert and myself.  Whether to help us in our hours of need, through the loss of  loved ones, to join with us in almost every charity event as well as working hands-on with everything from the Equestrian Aid Foundation to being a “Big Brother”, Ron hears the call for help and is always there, even when most people would never know it.

Quite simply, Ron Davis is ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS and that is why I could not be more proud to make him my Out For Good Hero for November!  We love you, Ron!

Cheers!

RD

In 1983 Herb & I were thrilled to see Robert’s long uphill climb to become a Dressage Star come to fruition. Not only was he going to ride Romantico in the 1984 Olympics, but he would become the Captain of the team. That was a great honor, and one he would receive 6 times.  I  had a jewelry corner in a friend’s boutique. Everyone was congratulating me and asking how it felt to have a son in the Olympics. I also enjoyed having a jewelry table at the Horse shows. Herb would help me sell.  We made many life long friends. Everyone was excited and impressed, as few knew anyone who had ever gone to an Olympics event.     My first thought was,” What should I wear?”  Now that I look back at the album that I had put together, I see that I wore lovely pants and  skirts. It was long before ladies wore jeans. Soon we were caught up in preparation for the trip. There were airline tickets, motel reservations for Margo, Tom, and their two little girls, Dale, and for us. Herb rented a huge van. No SUVs were around then. The time went fast, and at last we were on our way. There was one very important person we had been trying to convince to come with us. She was our own Aunt Tillie. Herb’s mom had died at 54 from cancer, and Tillie, being her sister, stepped right in to mother us, a job she did to perfection. Whenever we went out of town for a few days, Aunt Tillie was right there to take care of the kids. My only regret was that she always had their hair cut before we returned. She couldn’t see trying to unsnarl Margo’s hair, or make Dale cry when she combed hers. Al & Robert even lost their baby curls. I had to hold myself back from crying over that. Every Friday Aunt Tillie came over and cooked up a storm. She would say to the children, “What would you like for dinner, dear?” “Oh, Al, you want chicken. Fine”. “And you, Margo?” “Oh, you want spaghetti?. Fine, dear”. “And you Dale? Oh, you want lamb chops. Fine dear.”And you, Robert? Oh, you want what your brother is having. Fine, dear”. When Robert was about 8 Herb opened up a new Do-Ray Lamp Company factory in Toronto. It was a big shock to the kids when I said, “no more Aunt Tillie. From now on it’s Hamburger Surprise for all.” They survived. I say all this to tell you that Aunt Tillie was very special to all of us. The only problem is she had never flown.  She was scared to death of flying. On the day we left, her children found her in the basement doing laundry with curlers in her hair. They had packed a bag for her. They handed her her ticket and  whisked her off to catch her flight. We were all thrilled to go to the airport to pick her up. She was still protesting that she needed a touch up. We overcame all that with many hugs and kisses. The first thing she did upon arriving at the hotel was to hunt out a grocery store. Off she went to find goodies for all her children, “they shouldn’t starve to death.” It was very hot in Los Angeles, with sweltering, oppressive heat. The Olympics opening ceremony was spectacular. Nothing like that had ever been  seen in America before. We came into the stadium to see hundreds of balloons lying on the field. Little did we suspect that under each balloon was a person getting ready to let them loose to fly away into the air. There  was a Wild West pageant. Then 40 pianos came out of the wall with men dressed in formal whites playing patriotic songs. The Olympians were piped in, and we were mesmerized by the young people parading before us who would compete over the next few weeks. Many would win medals. Many would have their hearts broken, but all would go home with the knowledge that for once in their young lives they had had the chance at immortality. Off we went for the first team day. Whoops! Margo left her tickets on the bed. Back she and Herb went. In the picture you see the huge crowd of thousands of people in the stands. We were standing nearby, as Robert entered on Romantico. The trainer gave Romantico a hard crack on the back of his legs as he entered. I remember thinking, “that is one horse who will lift up his legs for sure.”  And it came to pass he remembered, and wouldn’t stop Piaffing, ending Robert’s chances.What was wonderful about that first Olympics was that the Olympic committee had provided, free of charge, for all the American parents, to be seated together. Robert was the first American rider to enter. Picture, if you can, 22,472 people stamping their feet, whooping, and applauding this entrance. As you know Dressage is done to “no noise”, period. I always said to Robert,”You should train your horse to hear noise and not freak out.” My heart almost burst with pride when he rode down the center line, looking like a young god. His outcome wasn’t perfect, but we enjoyed every minute of our time there.  We had luncheons with our Canadian friends, our California friends and family, and new friends who came to tell us how much they admired Robert.Half Halt was there too. Robert’s friend David took great care of him. Robert said he had learned a great deal from that first Olympics. I still have the red shirt made for us by his Texas friends. I am thinking of framing it and letting Robert use it at a silent auction to raise money for his Equestrian Aid Foundation.What do you think, friends?                                     Roberts Mom

As Robert mentioned on his website, I will soon be writing stories titled. The Dover’s Olympic Follies. I hope you will enjoy going down memory lane with me again. I asked Margo to relate her memories of that wonderful time, and how it all came to pass.  So here it is, Dear Friends.  While that went on in Texas, we Florida Seniors tackled the logistics of insuring a smooth trip to our First Olympics in Los Angeles.

Robert was told he had xx number of months to purchase Romantico from the German owners (RD owned a small  percentage and was training him in Virginia I believe) or Romantico would be at the Olympics for the Germans.I called Marnie Reeder and a group of Texans joined together and bought him with the caveat that we syndicate him quickly and repay the ones that wanted out. I got all of the phone numbers from RD of all his top fans and supporters and began making phone calls.  It was my full time job.Stacy was a newborn and I remember the months of March and April, May just walking around and around the house with stacy on one hip and the phone in my hand telling the story to people I’d never met and working to raise the money. Stacy could use a toy phone better then any kid I’d ever seen, it was her life.  I think her first sentence was probably, “so can I interest you in a share of an Olympic horse”? We did pretty well, but when we got to the Olympics we were still about $18,000 short. Stacy and I were getting donuts and coffee in the motel (well, I was getting coffee and donuts stace was along for the ride) when we met a nice young man and his young daughter.  They were from jackson hole I believe and we talked for a while and next thing I knew he was buying the final share.  Phew!What I remember was the amazing heart that a bunch of Texans showed in buying the horse on behalf the USA - and for wanting a young rider that showed such incredible promise to be able to represent his country and the finest horse ever.Remember, after Romantico was retired he to Austin and lived at Marnie Reeders until his death.  He was sweet and loving and when he was turned out he would do his dressage routines without a rider on his back. PS Thanks to Half-halt he hated small dogs forever.

Love,

Robert’s Mom and Sister, Margo

When I was a child my Mom, Dad, & big Brother used to take me to Kiddieland. I loved the pony rides best, and my Brother used to lead me around and around.. Fast forward to when our children were young. Every Sunday morning, weather permitting, off we went to Kiddieland.  First came the Ferris Wheel, then the Merry- go- Round, and finally the pony rides. Herb led each child around, and then again, as they pleaded, one more time, please Dad. Done with that we headed to the hot dog stand, for what they considered a delicious lunch. I can still see us sitting around the wooden table a tired, but happy family. All good things come to an end. That is a sad, but true fact. Last week I was watching WGN-TV from our home town in Chicago. The announcer came on and said, “Well folks, another institution, Kiddieland, which has been thrilling youngsters for over 60 years, is closing next week. I guess the location on 1st. & North Avenue is just too valuable a piece of property, and is being squeezed out by industry, hospitals, and housing closing in. So Dear readers, I know, and I am sure many others feel the same, that Kiddieland with it’s innocent pleasures, will be sorely missed, but will always be there in the memory of those of us lucky enough to have been there with our young family.  Did your folks take you  to Kiddieland  as children? Is that where you first learned to love horses? How about Russel’s Barbecue? If you find it is still there, please go and enjoy it’s unique flavor. It makes my mouth water just thinking about it.                         Happy trails all you Buckaroos

Roberts Mom