Dear Rhonda,

I am a 41 year old gay man and have been dating a 22 year old for the past six
weeks.  I am the youngest of my group of friends and most of them have
been telling me that I am crazy. Am I delusional or is there a chance
at all that this will work?

Thanks,

Cou-gay

Dear Cou-gay (love the spin on Demi Moore’s inspired “Cougar” title),

First of all, I have to say that I am thrilled to finally get a
question from my silent (but clearly prevalent) gay audience.  I knew
you were out there.

My first reaction was YIKES! Twenty-two?? And not for the reasons you
may think.  It was pure jealousy. That’s right, jealousy. And that’s
exactly why your friends said what they said to you.  Deep down, they
may have felt concern and wondered what mid-life fantasy you were
trying to work through (I know which one I am working through just
thinking about it), but WHY the comments shot out of their mouths were
based in 100% pure jealousy. And why shouldn’t they be.  Good for you.

Now back to the million dollar question. Does this relationship have a
chance at all?  Yes it does my dear Cou-gay. Your relationship has the
same chance of success that Rhonda has of being abducted by a Middle
Eastern terrorist and then falling in love with the terrorist.

I know those odds don’t sound good, but remember it did kinda happen
that way for Patty Hearst, so keep your chin up! What you need to
remember is that true love comes in many shapes, sizes, sexes and
ages. It always comes when least expecte. and it may not look
anything like you expected.  Have fun, respect each other’s different
perspectives, be safe and see where it goes (and feel free to send
photos of the twenty-two year old)

Best,

Rhonda

Dear Rhonda,

One of my closest friends asked to borrow money from me. It’s not that
I can’t afford it, but I have a feeling that I will never get it back
and I don’t want to end up hurting our friendship and resenting her
for it. But, if I don’t give her the money I am afraid that she will
end up resenting me for not giving it to her. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Shawna

Dear Shawna,

It sounds like you’re screwed either way, so at least be screwed with
your money in tact. If she was a close friend, she would have known
better than to ask you for money (you seem a little tight and a true
friend would know that about you). And lets be honest, if she really
was your “nearest and dearest” you wouldn’t even be asking me what to
do. You would fork over your first born for a true friend.

It sounds to me like your relationship with her is as close as a
bastard’s to his “legitimate” half siblings. With that in mind there
is only one solution; LIE. Tell her that times are tough, you wish you
could help her and that it kills you that you can’t. My bet is that
she distances herself for a few weeks while she overcomes the
rejection (and preys on someone else) and that your “fringe”
friendship is back on track by the end of the month. And one last
note… buying her the meal over which you tell her “no” is completely
optional, but highly recommended. In the future, I would consider
bitching about your finances more in social situations so that you
don’t have “meal ticket” written all over you.

Mazal tov,
Rhonda

Send your questions to rhonda@doversworld.com

Dear Rhonda,

I recently joined Facebook and a fellow equestrian, whom I did not know, sent me a friend request. I accepted hoping to make a new friend, but now I am starting to regret it. She makes odd comments about photos and posts off-color wall-to-wall messages that creep me out.

What is the proper etiquette to get her off my back? Please keep in mind that we travel in the same industry, so I don’t want to be rude and possibly get a bad reputation. Thanks for any insight.

Signed-
Kelly Green

Dear Kelly,

18 months ago, I would have told you to take your lonely life off-line and start living it in the real world with real people, especially if you want to avoid the online woman-to-woman stalking tragedy you are currently enduring. But, the sad fact of the matter is that Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and all the other social networking sites have made their way into the social fabric of our society (proof being that it even made its way into the daily existence of someone as long in the tooth as me).

I am not an expert at warding off online stalkers; primarily because no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to get myself one (maybe this column will do the trick). Regardless of that, I have a sure fire solution to your problem.

Log onto Facebook and click on your “friends” icon. All the way to the right of each person there is a small “x.” Click on this and a box will appear that asks if you want to remove this person as a friend. Confirm, “remove friend.” This person will be removed from your friends list and will not be able to correspond with you or see your profile in any way. And, the best part is that they are not notified that you dumped their sorry ass.

Next time she tries to email, post to your wall or comment to you, she will be blocked and have to send you an initial friend request like she did originally. And when she does (oh, and she will) just ignore it. Trust me; she will be confused, disoriented and assume that a technology glitch has stood in the way of your deep and meaningful friendship. At this point, Miss “Off-Color” herself will move on to a new target leaving you free and clear with no traceable blame.

Thankfully I was here to save your ass this time. From now on, lets stick to whom you know.

Best,
Rhonda

p.s. Just one caveat. If you exchanged phone numbers with her ignore everything I said. It becomes an entirely new question…