Photo courtesy of Nancy Jaffer
Dear Rhonda,
I am a successful, 37 year old divorcé with no children and but can’t seem to get a date. All of my friends are married and I hate going to bars. I know so many people who met their soul mates on sites like Match.com and Eharmony.com, but honestly I can’t imagine myself on any of those sites. It feels a bit desperate. What is your take on this?
Lonely –Table for One
Dear Lonely,
What’s not to imagine about yourself being on one (if not all) of those site? Are you disfigured in a way that makes you unsalable in an online photo? Aside from severe burns about the face and/or neck, I can’t imagine you don’t have a respectable head shot. On the other hand, I can understand how you might feel insecure in the on-line medium having to promote yourself like a new book on Amazon.com. But, unfortunately this is the world we live in today, so I suggest you jump on board. Unless you want to grow old, choke on chicken bone and die by yourself you better pound out 350 words that describe yourself and upload a flattering photo or two. If it proves too difficult, get a $20 bottle of Merlot and invite your best friend over to help you write it. It will be a blast!
All that said, here are few of Rhonda’s rules for on-line dating, which are sure to make it a more pleasurable experience for both you and your prospective suitor.
- Don’t lie (embellishing is OK)
- Your photos must have been taken within the last 12 months and be within 5 pounds of your current weight
- After 2-3 emails and 1-2 phone conversations set up a date. Don’t waste months getting to know each others innermost feelings on the phone and via email only to find out when you finally meet that your actual chemistry is dimmer than a 25 watt bulb. Trust me. it happens…
- ALWAYS meet in a public place, no matter how “connected” you think you feel to him/her.
- Don’t be discouraged after your disastrous first date with the 350 pound Herman Munster that shows up. I know he looked like Brad Pitt on Match.com, but not everyone listens to Rhonda’s rules #1 and #2…
I hope this helps and good luck out there. With a little courage and perseverance, I suspect you will be a “table for two” in no time.
Best,
Rhonda
