Dear Rhonda,

I am OCD about clealiness and perfect order for my horses, barn and the farm grounds. I can not ride or simply enjoy the company of my six horses before all is perfect in all aspects. I have tried - again and again to just relax and go forward with training, but all I do is stare at what needs to be done. I have even hired a few people to assist me but the outcome is never the result that I expect. So, in your opinion, what should I do?

JP

Dear JP,

I have a very close friend who suffers from the same obsession of order and tidiness.  I bet you’re the type of person who has decorative towels hanging in your bathroom and that your head would explode if someone accidentally used them. Trust me JP, I know you better than you you know yourself. I had a similar situation on the early 1990’s but my demons told me to steal Tampax and candy bars from Duane Reade. Lets just leave it at that and move on. back to you…

Without being judgmental JP, you are a bit crackers. But that’s OK.  Some of my best friends and the most interesting people I know are crackers too. The bad news from this situation is that you can’t make the feelings go away completely. You will suffer with this for the rest of your life (as will those around you). It’s just who you are. You are just wound way too tight.

But, the good news is that there are a few things you can do to help silence the demons roaming through your head constantly telling you to clean. First off, get yourself laid more often. I bet it’s been at least two years. No one this uptight has a descent sex life. Secondly, get yourself a therapist and see him/her at last once a week (make sure its the kind of therapist who can dispense Xanax).  Third and most importantly, make sure to send Rhonda three of those Xanax pills per week (preferably 5 mg each). It ain’t easy fielding questions from crazy people…

Good luck,
Rhonda

As Robert mentioned on his website, I will soon be writing stories titled. The Dover’s Olympic Follies. I hope you will enjoy going down memory lane with me again. I asked Margo to relate her memories of that wonderful time, and how it all came to pass.  So here it is, Dear Friends.  While that went on in Texas, we Florida Seniors tackled the logistics of insuring a smooth trip to our First Olympics in Los Angeles.

Robert was told he had xx number of months to purchase Romantico from the German owners (RD owned a small  percentage and was training him in Virginia I believe) or Romantico would be at the Olympics for the Germans.I called Marnie Reeder and a group of Texans joined together and bought him with the caveat that we syndicate him quickly and repay the ones that wanted out. I got all of the phone numbers from RD of all his top fans and supporters and began making phone calls.  It was my full time job.Stacy was a newborn and I remember the months of March and April, May just walking around and around the house with stacy on one hip and the phone in my hand telling the story to people I’d never met and working to raise the money. Stacy could use a toy phone better then any kid I’d ever seen, it was her life.  I think her first sentence was probably, “so can I interest you in a share of an Olympic horse”? We did pretty well, but when we got to the Olympics we were still about $18,000 short. Stacy and I were getting donuts and coffee in the motel (well, I was getting coffee and donuts stace was along for the ride) when we met a nice young man and his young daughter.  They were from jackson hole I believe and we talked for a while and next thing I knew he was buying the final share.  Phew!What I remember was the amazing heart that a bunch of Texans showed in buying the horse on behalf the USA - and for wanting a young rider that showed such incredible promise to be able to represent his country and the finest horse ever.Remember, after Romantico was retired he to Austin and lived at Marnie Reeders until his death.  He was sweet and loving and when he was turned out he would do his dressage routines without a rider on his back. PS Thanks to Half-halt he hated small dogs forever.

Love,

Robert’s Mom and Sister, Margo

When I was a child my Mom, Dad, & big Brother used to take me to Kiddieland. I loved the pony rides best, and my Brother used to lead me around and around.. Fast forward to when our children were young. Every Sunday morning, weather permitting, off we went to Kiddieland.  First came the Ferris Wheel, then the Merry- go- Round, and finally the pony rides. Herb led each child around, and then again, as they pleaded, one more time, please Dad. Done with that we headed to the hot dog stand, for what they considered a delicious lunch. I can still see us sitting around the wooden table a tired, but happy family. All good things come to an end. That is a sad, but true fact. Last week I was watching WGN-TV from our home town in Chicago. The announcer came on and said, “Well folks, another institution, Kiddieland, which has been thrilling youngsters for over 60 years, is closing next week. I guess the location on 1st. & North Avenue is just too valuable a piece of property, and is being squeezed out by industry, hospitals, and housing closing in. So Dear readers, I know, and I am sure many others feel the same, that Kiddieland with it’s innocent pleasures, will be sorely missed, but will always be there in the memory of those of us lucky enough to have been there with our young family.  Did your folks take you  to Kiddieland  as children? Is that where you first learned to love horses? How about Russel’s Barbecue? If you find it is still there, please go and enjoy it’s unique flavor. It makes my mouth water just thinking about it.                         Happy trails all you Buckaroos

Roberts Mom

A picture of this remarkable Lady taken at the convention last December. The other two are Herb & me, her fervent admirers

Way back in 1981 or 2 The Insilco Dressage Finals were held in Kansas City at the Kemper Arena. Mary Ellen Purucker was chairing the show & was in charge of assigning a lady to escort each rider and see to their needs. As fate would have it the lady got sick at the last minute and Mary Ellen, at who’s home Robert was staying, decided to escort Robert herself.
And so began a life long friendship that has spanned these 30 some years.
Last night we were chatting about all the horses Mary Ellen has had Robert bring for an exhibition to the very appreciative crowds. There was Johnathon Livingston Seagull who died under Robert from an aneurism. Then Romantico, Federleicht , Deveraux, Juvel, Ranier and Kennedy.
I am sure there were more but Robert will have to fill us in on them.
This from Mary Ellen:
“I will never forget the night Robert was putting on an exhibition at the American Royal Horse Show in Kansas. There was a cocktail party before the show, hosted by the Woman’s Chamber of Commerce, and Robert was to speak. We left my house in plenty of time and arrived at the show building. Robert reached for his jacket in the back seat..it was not there!!! We just sat looking at each other, sure the other had put it there. I told him to go in. Fortunately it was a very warm November night, and I sped home in record time & back in 30 minutes. It usually takes 30 minutes one way. I could have been locked up for excessive speeding. Robert put on his jacket and calmly performed.”
“Another time he and Kay Meredith performed a Pas De Deux on foot! No one knew it was going to happen .It was a wonderful surprise.. Whenever Kay went off course Robert grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back. The crowd loved it and laughed, showing their appreciation. The two came out wringing wet but happy to have pulled it off.”
Fast forward to the USDF, December 25th, in Denver Co. The temperature was a chilly 25 degrees and it was snowing. All the Dovers were thrilled to hear that Mary Ellen and her long time friend Micky Christopherson were going to join us for the festivities. Micky is on the board of directors of the USEF which was sponsoring the convention.
To see Mary Ellen with her vitality at 90 years old, it was amazing. We should all be so blessed! What a trooper she is. I sat her next to Robert and the two enjoyed eachother’s company very much..
Mary Ellen is still active and interested in all things having to do with horses.

Are coupons worth the trouble to save?
Here is the thing. I never saved coupons. I always gave them to the ladies that clean. Now that I have had check book shock from doing and re-doing things since we are back home I have come to realize it is worth the trouble to cut them out and use them while shopping. Like the old adage says, better in my pocket then theirs. I even made a folder to keep them in. I put it in my desk under F but quickly realized it should be under S for shopping. of course. That was a close one. I never would have found them.
Anyway I went grocery shopping yesterday. I had put the ones I wanted to use right next to the shopping list which I quickly picked up as I was in a hurry to miss the daily rain here in Florida. When I was ready to pay I realized, much to my dismay, that I had left them at home. Oh sugar! That is not what I really said  but you get the idea.  The nice Checkout lady said “It happens to all of us bring them next time”.
Sure there is always a next time. Maybe then I will have them in my purse and still forget to give them to her. The lady in front of me said that is what happens to her.
So again I ask is it worth all the self incrimination to cut coupons?
Help,
Roberts Mom

Robert’s Dad & I were always there from the beginning for Robert. We saw to his having a horse and supported his desire to be the best he could. Now we would like to find a way to highlight the other important people who by their Mothering and Mentoring helped him become Robert Dover Dressage Champion Extraordinaire!
If you or anyone you know would like to add stories of some of your experiences with Robert through his wonderful journey please contact me at Moms Corner or at jd33024@bellsouth.net and I will be thrilled to help you relate your experiences.
I know there are those who are no longer with us but are now riding with the Angels. I will try to tell their stories as best as I can. I am sure Robert will remember them and add to my knowledge.
I look forward to hearing from you soon so I can get this journey back down memory lane started. It will be fun to read and I know folks in the horse world will think so too
Love,.
Roberts Mom

Dear Rhonda,

I am a 41 year old gay man and have been dating a 22 year old for the past six
weeks.  I am the youngest of my group of friends and most of them have
been telling me that I am crazy. Am I delusional or is there a chance
at all that this will work?

Thanks,

Cou-gay

Dear Cou-gay (love the spin on Demi Moore’s inspired “Cougar” title),

First of all, I have to say that I am thrilled to finally get a
question from my silent (but clearly prevalent) gay audience.  I knew
you were out there.

My first reaction was YIKES! Twenty-two?? And not for the reasons you
may think.  It was pure jealousy. That’s right, jealousy. And that’s
exactly why your friends said what they said to you.  Deep down, they
may have felt concern and wondered what mid-life fantasy you were
trying to work through (I know which one I am working through just
thinking about it), but WHY the comments shot out of their mouths were
based in 100% pure jealousy. And why shouldn’t they be.  Good for you.

Now back to the million dollar question. Does this relationship have a
chance at all?  Yes it does my dear Cou-gay. Your relationship has the
same chance of success that Rhonda has of being abducted by a Middle
Eastern terrorist and then falling in love with the terrorist.

I know those odds don’t sound good, but remember it did kinda happen
that way for Patty Hearst, so keep your chin up! What you need to
remember is that true love comes in many shapes, sizes, sexes and
ages. It always comes when least expecte. and it may not look
anything like you expected.  Have fun, respect each other’s different
perspectives, be safe and see where it goes (and feel free to send
photos of the twenty-two year old)

Best,

Rhonda

Sure is easier said then done! I am working on it but when you spend 7&1/2 weeks in a rented villa and have had to fix it’s problems along  with yours small stuff becomes huge stuff.For instance the insurance man just walked out after telling me how lovely things looked when the rain started and water poured down the wall on the new carpet that was guaranteed stain proof! It isn’t!  l sat on the floor and cried for a second and then said to myself “It is not my health just another small inconvenience!”When all  3 outside  walls were taken down due to mold and mildew the hurricane shutters were removed. Now no one wants to rehang them as they say they are not up to code! Small stuff indeed…unless a hurricane comes our way. So Dear Friends of Roberts Mom I am happy to be back writing a note to you. AT&T took 10 days to restore our phone service. A DSL man came out to get my computer going. Of course it didn’t work when he left. I spent almost two hours on the phone with a number he left if I had a problem. Yesterday it still would not let me retrive my e-mail so I had my computer Guru over for another hour on the phone to get positive results. Small stuff indeed. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to buy new plants . Ours got all sick looking from being out in the tropical storms here in Paridise. Thanks for letting me vent. I hope to be more up beat next time.                                    Love,                         Roberts Mom

When I was a little girl I came to the conclusion if I was nice and sweet life would be kind to me. Well friends no more. Roberts Mom is now changing to a tough to fool senior citizen!Some years ago I was a real estate sales person for a large condominium on the ocean in Hallandale. The manager I found out after he was gone was not a straight shooter. He assigned the same first space parking spots to every new tenant. When they moved in  he was long gone. Folks who had been friends for life no longer spoke to each other. I had been working for him about two weeks when he walked up to me and said. ” You really ARE a nice person.” As if I was just putting on an act. Dealing with people these last few weeks has changed me forever. Today was the straw that broke the camels back. Carriage Hills where we live has an automatic gate opener for residents. 99 times out of 100 it opens no problem. Today I backed up 3 times with no luck. I honked me horn for the guard to open it. I opened my window an again asked him to please open it. He said, “try again”. ” I have tried 3 times I said please open the gate” Repeat the above. Finally I just said “open the gate” in a hateful voice. The gate opened. Yesterday the man who washes my car every two weeks came along with the thunder but I felt sorry for him so I said OK you can wash the car. Now,I pay him 20 dollars plus a 5 dollar tip. I found out he does the neighbors cars for 10 dollars. Our best friends needed to have their cars washed . They pay 15 Plus a tip. One drives a Lincoln and the other a Mercedes. I asked him why I pay 5 dollars more then they do and he answered. “Well I do many more things to your car then theirs.” Because I feel sorry for him and am a sweet person I continued to give him the 25. When I got in my car today I noticed the front window was never washed. The same smudges where still there. Wait until he comes back in two weeks. No nice guy will greet him.We had our ducts cleaned to rid them of dust from the dry wall that had been taken down. A clever sales man gave us a razzle dazzle conversation about how we lovely seniors deserved to live in a clean air enviorment, and he was going to provide it. He flicked open a ceiling vent I was not tall enough to see and said.” Oh dear it is covered with mold and mildew”. I panicked as that is what cause the three outside walls to be taken down and all our carpet to be ripped out. He said,” I will only charge you for 5 vents though you have 8.” He threw in many more freebies or so he said. Next he offered his GPS so we could find our way to a Home Depot to buy a clamp for the lint pipe connection which was supposed to be 39.00 but in his kindness to us he would clean free… I said.” That is OK I know the way. We returned in about 30 minutes and he was outside all done. We went back in so he could connect the clamp then sat down at the table for the invoice to be presented. He listed all the freebies on one side for his boss and that total was over a thousand dollars. But he was only charging us 633.00. The ad was for 29.99. He promised a two year guarantee. It wasn’t on the invoice. He said” Don’t worry. if anything goes wrong just call me and I will come right out.” I insisted on a guarantee. He promised it would be here in a week. The second straw is that when we went into our house I found the clamp still in the bag. Wait until he hears from me tomorrow. You will probably hear me yell where ever you live. NO MORE Sweet Me.                              Roberts Mom

Since deciding that I wanted to do a Farewell Tour of Symposia (a la Cher), the requests have been streaming in. I will only do one per month in those months when I am not traveling for pleasure already. I am retired, remember! Here are the dates I have scheduled so far including the contact information of the organizers. If you are interested in taking part in any of these events, either as a rider or an auditor, please get directly in touch with the people I am listing below. I hope to see you in one or more of these locations!

March 19-20 Los Angeles
contact Marie Meyers 805-279-0731
mmstables@hotmail.com

March 21-22 San Diego
contact Alison Harding 858-401-2668
Allicat1979@yahoo.com

April 6-8 Sao Paulo, Brazil
contact thantalmeida@hotmail.com

June 28-29 Cincinnati
contact Chris Federer 513-833-5081
ChrisFederer@embarqmail.com

July 24-26 Greenville, SC
CANCELLED due to illness

August 22-23 Long Island, NY
contact Jane Springer 631-335-0085
JanePSpringer@gmail.com

September (date to be determined)
contact Jenna Wyatt 561-568-6965
dressage1@mac.com

November (date to be determined) Sydney
contact Mary Hanna (00) 6135253208
statenehockey.net.au

January 2010 Wellington (Date TBD)
contact Dressageclinic.com

April 2010 (date TBD) Atlanta
more info coming soon

2009 fall/ winter I will be conducting symposia also in Sao Paulo, Brazil and Buenos Aires. Both dates will be determined soon. Requests are also coming from various cities in Europe and I will be reporting those dates when they are finalized.

If you or your group are interested in scheduling a Robert Dover Symposium please look at the Farewell Tour information on this site and contact Robert at RDover2@aol.com